


Roger’s idea of “fun”

by spicedsalt



Category: Pink Floyd
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26020414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicedsalt/pseuds/spicedsalt
Summary: seriously roger what the fuck
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Roger’s idea of “fun”

it all started one day when nick had left the studio to buy some crustless pie (why) so it was just roger, rick, and david left to their own devices. holy shit. holy SHIT. 

“HOLY SHIT!” roger burst out suddenly as he ran out of the room. this caused rick to jump out of his seat at the piano bench and fall to the ground flat on his arse. he instantly started to cry. 

“shut up you weak bitch” rick could heard roger’s disembodied voice ringing in his ears and he began to cry even harder. 

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, ROGER?!” rick yelled in between sobs. 

“I THOUGHT OF AN IDEA, OK?” he yelled back

“AAAHHHHHHH!!” david also yelled. thank you for your contribution, david, very nice. 

“what’s your stupid idea” rick said angrily, glaring at roger through his tears. 

“well” roger began slyly as he entered back into the room, “i was thinking we should play...” he then pulled a glass (nick) mason jar from out of thin air, “spin the bottle! or, uhhh, jar.”

“we’re not gay!” both david and rick said, suspiciously in unison. hm. interesting. 

“no, not THAT kind of spin the bottle.” he jaunted, placing the jar on the ground. “whichever two people the jar lands on have to FIGHT!” 

“WHAT?!” david and rick said in unison again, but it was too late. roger had already spun the bottle (jar?) and it landed on himself, and then david. 

“but i don’t wanna fight anyone!” david whined. 

“too bad,” roger stated nonchalantly right before he gave david a swift punch to the gut. david keeled over backwards onto the couch, clutching his stomach. 

“what the FUCK roger?!” he grunted in pain. 

“come on, fight me you coward!”

“no, i don’t wanna fight you!” 

“fine,” roger then spun the jar again, and this time it landed on rick, “i’ll just have to fight rick instead.” roger smiled maliciously as he made his way over to rick. 

“NO!” david shouted, as roger lifted his hand to slap rick across the face. david then jumped off of the couch and tackled roger to the ground. 

“DON’T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HIM, YOU FUCKING DIRTY LOWLIFE BASTARD!”

david then began to beat the shit out of roger. rick ran over and tried to stop the fight by grabbing david and pulling him off of the bassist. david continued to pummel the taller man, but rick eventually pried the two men apart. david stood there seething with rage as rick held him. roger then sat up on his elbows and looked up at david. he wiped off the blood that was dripping from his nose. his face was bruised and his lip was busted open. unexpectedly, he began to smirk. 

“now THAT’S a fight!” he said triumphantly pumping a fist into the air before he collapsed back onto the floor. i think he actually passed out. 

rick was still holding onto david as the two remaining men looking at man sprawled out before them. 

“you—you beat the shit out of him.” rick stated

“yeah. i did. i kinda feel bad now,” david said scratching the back of his neck as he turned to look at rick, who was—still—holding onto him. 

“don’t. i’m pretty sure he enjoyed it.”

the two men began to laugh as they stared longingly into each other’s eyes. 

they suddenly started making out, right there in the middle of the room. suddenly, the door opened and nick stepped inside, holding his prized crustless pie. 

he gawked at the sight before him: he first saw rick and david mouth-fucking each other, the two of them not even noticing nick’s entrance. next he saw roger’s lifeless body on the ground. 

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?” he shouted in confusion. this FINALLY cause david and rick to break their make out session and turn to look at their bandmate standing in the doorway. 

“oh hi nick,” they both said, out of breath, before they slammed their lips back together. 

nick then set his pie down on the nearest flat surface (which was actually roger’s sense of humour) before he ran over to roger.  
.....was he dead? did someone fucking kill their bassist while he was gone? he bent down next to him and checked his pulse....which was actually there. nick was simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the same time. he then shrugged and sat down and began to eat his pie.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing i’ve ever published!! holy shit!! anyway maybe i’ll post more we’ll see maybe i’ll write a bunch of crack fics


End file.
